Friday, 10 June 2005 [11:30 p.m.]:
Hey there, you!I thought about you again all day (as per usual) and heaps about Don, too. Got to hand it to him – even though I don’t think that he likes me very much he’s definitely doing the right thing by me and I appreciate it. I’m really glad that, in spite of his hectic work schedule, he was able to be with you at the end and reminisce about old times, tell stories and laugh with you. I wish that I could have been there, too.
I feel like I owe a big apology first of all to Colleen – honey, right from the start you said that she was your "ex" and I assumed that you meant divorced. But you never explained and I never asked. So when months had rolled by and no package I assumed that Colleen was just separated from you, had taken it and decided that I had no right to it. So I got pissed. I'm sorry.
As for Alison – at first it felt almost as if she was my sister. You know all the nice things that I said about her and about your nieces and nephews. That embroidery that she did for you blew me away so of course I loved her. But when you died and she didn’t ring me as you promised and the package never came and "the family" got pissed – I got pissed too. Grizz, it is so hard grieving for you all alone. There they are all together and what do I have with you gone? No way to say goodbye, no way to relive memories. Only with myself, only by going ‘round and ‘round in my head (and in my heart). I don’t think Don or any of them (or even you until now when you see me and what I’m going through) have any idea what it’s like for me with nothing but a big hole where you used to be. Don reckons I should get a life (he didn’t put it that way but I got the drift). Anyway, I’m sorry, Alison, I don’t pretend to understand you at all but I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, even if you didn’t know about it. (And I think your house looks real cute in the pictures.)
Now, hon, I’ve got to go. I know you’re just a heartbeat away and that always makes me feel safe. I just regret that I’ve lost Don’s respect and I think it’s unlikely that I’ll ever regain it. See what you can do, good buddy. I love you and I don’t care what anybody thinks about it….
- Tiger Woman
posted by Susan @ 12:25 am
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