Friday night, 3 June 2005 [11:15 p.m.]:
Here I am again, Grizz.The sky was inky tonight when I went out to bring in the laundry and while there weren’t many stars, the one’s that were there were exquisite. So, hello again, honey.
I haven’t been sick like I am with this cold in years. I went to work but it was just a crappy day all around. Graeme, one of the IT guys, was working on my PC and had all sorts of problems. Then I couldn’t restore either of my databases and I got almost nothing done. Finally threw in the towel and left at 3:30. Nice to get home before it got dark.
Picked up a couple of books on grieving at the Guildford library. One was recommended to me and it’s by a medium in the US (J. Van Praagh). Read the first 55 pages but haven’t really "gotten into it". The second book is by an Australian woman and it’s taken from her journal when her partner died. It reminds me a lot of what I am doing here – trying to process, accept and understand your death. Grizz, I miss you so and I don’t know what to do to make it better. I am so sorry if I am distressing you – please don’t worry, honey. Do what you can and want to do to help me but don’t worry – you deserve your own time. I’m adamant about that, honey; you were so, so sick and now I want you to enjoy yourself. You were always so good to everyone – you deserve to be good to yourself.
Try to communicate what you want me to do or not do – I know that you can. I know you believe in spirits and I know that you have already visited me several times. It’s OK to speak to me, honey, I won’t be frightened. You are very, very welcome here anytime. I’d like Clayton to come, too. Spirits don’t frighten me, Grizz, I’d be more afraid if I didn’t hear from you than if I did!
Honey, for the first time in years, I have a really bad cold. It’s a bit chilly and kinda late (well, not late for me usually but it is late when I’m sick) so I’m going to finish here.
Oh! Two things I wanted to tell you: last night I started researching centres that are working on PV for my Master’s and today I put up the East Arm/Quesnel Lake photo as my wallpaper. It was a bigger file and came up a lot better than the Spring salmon one that I had which was pixel-y.
So that’s it for tonight sweetheart. Send me a dream or come and be with us. I love you and miss you –
- Tiger Woman
posted by Susan @ 11:45 pm
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