early morning Tuesday, 7 June 2005 [12:15 a.m.]:
My sweet, sweet man.Honey, I am so tired and frazzled. I never slept a wink last night, in spite of taking a sleeping pill and some antihistamines. I’m sure I’ll sleep tonight.
You still seem far away from me and it’s awful. After being so close to you for all these months, it seems so strange. I have my memories and all our correspondence and all your beautiful photos but little else to hold on to. What happened seems so unfair (oh, yeah, as if there’s a just world out there somewhere) and I am having a hard time reconciling myself to it. "Everything works out for the best in this best of all possible worlds." – somehow I’m not convinced. I know I do not deserve what happened to me (or to you either, you poor man). But we did our best, honey, and I have to thank you for every treasured moment that you spent with me. And I, selfishly, don’t want them to ever end.
Please come back when you want to for you are sorely missed. Always, always yours –
- Susan
P.S.: I’ve been doing a little digging into PV research and there is a woman in South Australia who won a large grant from the leukemia organisation in the US and from the Australian Cancer Council. After a bit more reading I’m going to write her and sound out some research topics. Honey, I’m pretty proud of the fact that you asked me to do this for you and it is an honour. Again I have to thank you.
posted by Susan @ 12:37 am
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