Wednesday night, 4 May 2005 [11:00 p.m.]:
Hi there, my Grizz. Today was one of ‘your’ days from the very beginning. I got about a block and a half from the house this morning and there was this outboard motor on a stand that somebody had for sale. It just went on from there – cockatoos, lorikeets, etc.I got a coat and a jacket today ‘cuz I’ll need something when I come to Canada in November and it feels like this winter is going to be a bit cooler than usual.
I sent an email to a few friends today from work to let them know that I’m still not on the internet. Tomorrow I am going to write Don from work in case he has replied about the package and I haven’t gotten his email. By now he’s probably back out working on site but he’ll get it when he gets back.
Went to another scrapbook class tonight and started working on two pages for a girlfriend (who I shall not name because I want it to be a surprise). I think it will be a nice surprise for her. And it will help me to build my repertoire of techniques to use in your and Alison’s albums. The women at the scrapbooking place that I was at tonight were really nice and the owner, Leanne, even remembered me talking about your album and got in some special papers for me. You know I don’t have a colour printer, right? Well, Woolworths will do 5 x 7 colour prints from CD for only 20c each! I wish I had your advice about what to do about my ‘puter and printer. Hell, I wish I had you advice on every aspect of my life, dude! I sure as hell as miss you, that’s for sure.
But I didn’t cry at all today, thank God, not for you and not for Dennis, either (the lecturer from Uni). But, as usual, I thought of you constantly. Told Steve, the next door neighbour, about my tatt and he thinks that it sounds cool. But you’ll have to wait until it’s a done deal to find out and I’ll post a photo of it to my blog.
One of the radiation therapy lecturers cornered me today (he’s the guy that thought that I was going out on job interviews). First, he said that I’ve been looking great lately (I felt like telling him "If you think this looks great, you should see the underwear that I’ve got on!" but of course I didn’t - LOL!). Then he said that he thought that I should go out to Westmead Hospital and see the chief therapist and have a talk about doing my internship there. I asked about Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (my favourite) and he said that I should talk to Peter there. Peter knows me well since I did one clinical rotation there and volunteered over two Christmas periods. Oh, and I did a research project there. John reckons it’s all about me being afraid to move outside my Uni comfort zone and that I really should do the internship and get qualified. He wondered how long I’d be happy to do the type of jobs that I’m doing now (administrative). I told him that I wanted to start my Masters’ in two years (well, more like one and a half now!) time but he sort of assumed (everybody does) that it will be in radiation therapy. And that’s not what I promised you! If I do research in radiation therapy it’s going to be along the lines of treatment regimes – not working on a cure. It’s about what you do when the patient already has the disease, not about preventing the patient from getting the disease. Within the month I will have to start getting info together on PV and research that is going on now. It really is going to take a while to frame the research question – in fact, that and writing the ethics application is about the hardest part of the research! Anyway, honey, I haven’t lost sight of what you wanted, I just have to sort it all out. (Whenever I think about this sort of stuff, I always wish we had talked more about your disease. You were OK about it for awhile but than you got to a point that you just refused to talk about it. Oh, well, honey, if you didn’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I want whatever you want, OK?)
OK, my Grizz, it’s almost midnight and it’s getting cold in here. Time to start getting ready for bed. Can you feel all the love that I have in my heart for you? I hope that you can and that it gives you the beautiful warm feeling that I get from you. BTW: I could only see Venus tonight, all the stars were hidden by cloud.
Loving you, missing you, needing you, wanting you…
- Susan
posted by Susan @ 12:50 am
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