Sunday night, 1 May 2005 [7:30 p.m.]:
Hello, my Keith. I’m on early aren’t I! Just got in from hanging up some laundry – and there were only nine stars showing because of clouds – but I said "Hi" to you anyway.Marla is already on her way back to Brisbane – we had a great day in the city today. I took the train in and met her at her hotel and we found a little place for brunch. We sat there and gabbed on for so long that we got asked to leave! We strolled around through Chinatown looking at all sorts of stuff and eventually wound up at Paddy’s Market which sells fruit and vegetables and heaps and heaps of market stalls selling souvenirs, t-shirts, watches, jewellery, footwear, sunglasses and all manner of other stuff. I bought some more craft supplies and then I got – you won’t believe it – a wig!!! It’s sort of feathery and short (just brushes my shoulders) with a fringe (bangs) and it’s a reddish colour with darker streaks. You would not believe how different I looked when I put it on! Marla couldn’t believe it and neither could the saleslady or I. After I got home I put it on and went out in the next door neighbour’s yard where Wozza was trimming the grass – and at first he didn’t recognise me! It was so funny. It was actually cheaper to buy than a haircut is and looks to be quite well made. LOL! (Ya’ gotta admit I’ve been having fun lately.) There were lots of Chinese stalls and I looked for our lunar signs but I only found one boar (pig) in the entire place (lots of tigers, tho. Funny, I didn’t see any roosters, either.). Well, when the time is right I will find them. Marla and I parted at the tramway and she went on to the Museum and I went up to Central Station. I went downstairs and bought a handbag I had seen in both black and a russet colour (matches my boots). Then I took off to the tattoo parlour to see if Zack was in. I wanted to show him the sketches I have and also to ask if I can pay like $100 a time until I have paid for the whole work to be done and then go in and get it done. I cannot imagine how I am going to sit still for so long – I will have to listen to music and if I listen to music I will have to sing and if I sing I will have to move, bro.
Honey, did you notice that it’s May already? Probably a good month for fly-fishing, I reckon. Jeez, honey, I really, really miss you. I want to talk to you on the ‘phone (and even more so, in person), I want to message you and I want emails and letters! I want you to give me permission to touch you. No, your Sage hat still is not here. It was supposed to be sent on the 18th of February and now it’s the 1st of May and it’s not here. I think it’s wicked, I really do (and not in the good sense). In a little over a week it will be three whole months since we spoke, I can hardly believe it. I know you don’t want me to cry like this but I don’t think you realise how special you are and how good you were to me (and still are). I love you and I miss you and sometimes the tears just come down. But you know sometimes, like today when I left the tattoo place and was walking up to the station I was just walking and I felt good and I knew I looked good and I had this smile on my face. Kind of a private smile and it was coming from thoughts of you being with me – you just felt like you were there with me, walking up the road kicking the autumn leaves aside. It was nice and the feeling just filled up inside of me. Sometimes I just know that you are with me – I don’t know if it’s me making it happen or if it’s you. Do you remember when you consciously sent me good wishes on my graduation day and when I emailed you about it you said that you had been sending warm wishes to me then. So when we’ve sent wishes and hugs back and forth from Australia to Canada and they’ve made it through, don’t you think the heaven-sent ones would make it through, too? So I choose to believe that when I feel as if you’re with me that’s you sending your love – or even yourself – from your faraway star.
Eight-thirty now and I’m definitely feeling a bit weepy. I think I’ll fold the laundry then maybe have some hot chocolate and then crawl into bed. Really feel like reading Clayton’s book right now but I don’t want to order it from Amazon and then wind up finding that you had sent it with the hat (oh, honey, I really, really hope that you did, that would be the sweetest thing and I am like sooo sorry that I said no to you. I can be a total idiot sometimes and shoot myself in the foot with awful regularity, I’m afraid.)
Well, honey, right now I really, really want to hold you. Usually when I felt that way it was to comfort you but right this minute I need it for me. Thanks for being with me again today – I love our times together so. I miss you so, honey. I am broken-hearted right now but I’m doin’ the "moving on" thing to the best of my ability and stubbornly refuse to "get over" you. Saw a thing at the markets, "If friends were flowers, I’d pick you". Honey, we were the best of friends and that means so much to me. Like how could I not miss you after the way we were together?
Got to tear myself away… Enjoy yourself, honey, and don’t worry, it’ll all get sorted out eventually. And when I make it up there I want you to wear that grey marle t-shirt** and you can show me the tiger babies and Rowdy (after I’ve met Clayton and your Pop and Dad) and I’ll trade you back the Sage hat for that purple Bare polar fleece fishing shirt of yours. No, wait, in Heaven we can have two Sage hats, OK?
‘night, sweetie –
- S.
**Yes, of course you can wear jeans and whatever with the t-shirt! How depraved do you think I am anyway – LOL!
posted by Susan @ 12:32 am
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