Thursday night, 28 April 2005 [10:00 p.m.]:
Hi, honey, it’s me.Not such a good day today. I’ve been a bit depressed and there have been quite a few tears. And I had been doing so good up until today! It just hit me all again and it is so, so hard. I so wish that you were back in 108 where you belong. Was wondering about the weather there (no internet, so I can’t check the Weather Network) and if the ice is gone off the lake and if ice fishing is finished until next winter. You crack me up in that photo of you ice fishing right from your sled – LOL!
Had lots of running around today – took the two LaserWriters in for repair. Went over to Walter Street and saw the guy that’s going to be living there and told him about your package in case it comes. He was really nice and said that he’d call the agent and let her know if it shows up. Since it isn’t here by now, Keith, I am pretty sure that they have decided not to send it. It’s too bad you didn’t get Ken to mail it or Don. I think that they are being spiteful and that is so unlike the way that you lived your life. Aw, sh*t, here comes the tears again. Honey, it is hard enough as it is without "the family" being purposely hurtful. I swear I do not understand the mentality. I don’t understand why they are purposely going against your wishes and I cannot for the life of me understand why they chose not to celebrate a person as wonderful as you. It makes no sense whatsoever (unless, of course, you specifically asked for no service or celebration). To each his own, I guess.
Bought another blouse tonight, a bra and a bunch of G-strings – you better hope that when I get up to Heaven God lets me bring some of my clothes – hot momma! ;-) Look, I don’t normally enjoy shopping but I’ve lost all this weight! I’ve gone from like size 22 to size 16 and there is a definite possibility I’ll wind up as a 12 or a 14. I mean, some of my jeans were literally falling off me.
Time just seems to be flying by – the moon that was full just a couple of nights ago is already shrinking. Haven’t seen very many cockatoos lately and only a couple of lorikeets. (Oh, yeah, saw a pair of "Eastern Rosellas" at Uni last week – they are almost as colourful as the lorikeets but not so boisterous.) Had a really good "talk" with you last night when I got into bed – you felt so near and I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear you speak. You are so much a part of me.
Um, there is something I haven’t told you and it doesn’t sound very good. My hair has been falling out since January. I’ve been to the doctor twice and the dermatology clinic at the hospital twice. My last appointment was today. They confirmed what they already guessed – it’s stress. When I told them everything that’s happened in the last fourteen months or so, they weren’t surprised and said my reaction to you being sick and to your death was enough for me to lose it. I have lost probably 2/3 of my hair – and I used to have such beautiful chestnut curly hair and tons of it. Anyway, they said I won’t lose all my hair and when the stress stops that it will start to come back. But it’s a pity – my hair is the longest it’s ever been (I have been trying really hard to grow it – I really like long hair) and I’ve always wanted it long. So when it does come back, I’m going to have these dumb little short new hairs and I’ll have to start all over again to grow it long. ;-(
Honey, it’s almost eleven so I’m going to get some things ready for tomorrow – I’m going to take a pile of bills into work and pay them from my Netbank account since I can’t get to the internet from home. I’m also going to send out an email from my work address to let people know that I am not getting my old Optus net email and that I am currently "off the air". You know what they say: "Life’s a bitch and then you marry one." I’m sure you can relate.
So night, honey – keep your eyes peeled for the lingerie parade! Be good, you devil, and keep your lines tight. All my love –
- Tiger Woman
posted by Susan @ 8:05 pm
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