Thursday evening, 5 May 2005 [8:00 p.m.]:
Hi, honey. Jeez, I just came in from work (worked late) and didn’t even think to look up at the stars – that’s no good, is it?There is a field adjacent to the work carpark that always seems to have some form or the other of wildlife in it. Usually we see these huge chocolate brown hares with black floppy ears. They are so big that the first time I saw one, I thought it was a fox. This morning there was a single beautiful crane. Its head was white with a long thick beak and it was mostly grey but pinkish on its neck. Dunno what sort of crane it was and my bird book is somewhere in the mess that is my house. But it was nice to watch from my car whatever its name was.
With Kerrie away I have been very, very busy at work. Tonight when I finished, I sent an email to Don. I had sent an email out from work but asked people not to reply to that address but to Don tonight I said that didn’t apply to him! I am dying to know what has happened to your package for me! I asked him if it was OK with him to have "the family" send it to him and then have him send it to my new address. And I also told him that I would like to talk to him since I have so many unanswered questions. I guess he’s probably "out bush" by now but he’ll get it eventually. I just have to try to be patient.
I tell ya’, Keith, it is just so amazing how I feel. I get the most steady, peaceful, ‘right’ feeling from you when I look at your pictures. On the wall above my ‘puter at work I have my favourite ‘cub’ photo, the Kitimat salmon photo, the pic of you with Rowdy, the one with Simba in the Dodge and that most excellent photo that you took of Kisa (why does her fur look so dark in that photo and not in the others?). Oh, yeah, I have the Abbotsford/Kisa one on my desktop like I said before. When I look at them, it just settles me right down. Ya’, I do feel like weeping sometimes but mostly I just get this overwhelming sense of peace.
"Stages" is playing: "Tell me it's for real and let me know why does lovin' have to come and go?". I’ll never, ever understand why you had to go, my Grizz, never. Ya’, I am mindful of the fact that if you hadn’t have been sick we probably would not have met but I guess that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we loved each other and we were good to each other and someday, someday, we’ll meet again. Sometimes when I get upset I remind myself that you chose to spend your time with me in the evenings before you went to bed almost every single night from about the middle of January up until almost before you died. Times when you couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night you’d get up and ‘phone or message me and if there’s anybody out there that’s uncomfortable with that, it isn’t me that you should be blaming (and it’s not Keith, either). :-P
In spite of all this crap, I’m missing you always –
- Tiger Woman
posted by Susan @ 12:55 am
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