A seven-year saga
More than seven and a half years ago, I asked in a newsgroup for comments on some C++ software and I was answered by a polite young man. It soon became apparent that we had many things in common - computers (although he was into Windows and I was into Macs), science and medicine, dragons, the mining industry.We wrote each other more and more frequently and in November or December I wrote him a very long email just laying it all on the line - everything about me and all my kinks and whistles. Rick was so amazed by what I had written that he showed his sister and asked her to comment. I think her reply was something like "either she's insane or don't let her get away". LOL!
Well, he didn't let me get away. We spoke on the phone often and emailed constantly. He visited Sydney several times and eventually quit his job so he could move to Sydney. I took the Indian Pacific to Kalgoorlie in Western Australia and met him. It was the most amazing trip across the Nullabor. He had to pack most everything up and had it shipped and we took the car first to Perth to meet his mother. Looking around Perth was great and I bought him a ring that he still wears in the Fremantle Markets. We packed up the car for camping and started back across the Nullabor and to South Australia and Victoria. When we got to Canberra we started to get homesick and left almost straight away for Sydney.
Rick never found a job here in Sydney to suit him, working mostly in IT sales. When things in the mining industry began to improve in Western Australia, Rick began to look at fly in/fly out jobs there. He was hired almost immediately in June 2004. The plan was that he would fly in and out from his Mum's house in Perth two out of the three breaks that he would have and then he would fly back to Sydney for a break. He came once in July 2004 - that was the last time he came. From then on there was always some reason why he couldn't fly back.
Just after his birthday on 11 November 2004 Rick rang and we had an extremely long conversation - we talked about heaps of things. Suddenly, just before he ended the call he said he wanted to end the relationship. Boom! - just like that! I suppose it wasn't that much of a shock, things hadn't been fabulous between us for awhile. He had concerns about the difference in our ages and the fact that he wanted his own children and didn't want to adopt. He also firmly believed that relationships shouldn't take work and I believe that they do.
Being suddenly without someone you've been with for over seven years is difficult, especially at my age but soon events were to transpire that changed everything - I'll write more in my next post.
He very much wanted for us to remain as friends and I think that we have. With everything that has happened between when we broke up and now, I have been especially grateful to have him as a friend. I know it's a bit weird for him. But we really did care for each other and that's why we're able to stay close.
Really, I haven't completely processed the whole thing in my head and in my heart - I still need some distance from it to sort it out. Not sure how long it's going to take.
posted by Susan @ 1:22 am
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