Thursday night, 9 March 2006 [11:30 p.m.]:
Hey my Grizz!Dude, I miss you. You know what? – I am actually missing you more each day instead of missing you less. I thought that is what would happen, that gradually you’d slip away from me and I’d miss you less and less. But that’s not what’s happening… I really miss you, and need you, more. I think it’s a survival mechanism – I hate this feeling of isolation so maybe I am keeping you in my world to, in some way, make up for the things I believe that I should have and don’t. You seem to be the only sure thing in my life as pathetic as that sounds. Everything else is, like the title of that movie, just sand and fog.
Speaking of movies: I don’t know how you went with English-subtitled foreign language films but I just saw a magnificent one in Kurdish/Farsi – “A Time for Drunken Horses”. You know I live in an Islamic neighbourhood; well this film gave me more of an understanding of life in the Iran/Iraq area at least. The plight of the children, the women, the animals! And I thought that things in my life had been “swept away”!
The stars are exquisite tonight – all sparkles and glimmers and strewn across the sky from horizon to horizon – the best I’ve seen in months. I wish I were down at Warren’s in Picton to see them at their best.
Clayton’s stories are wonderful – I am enjoying the book so much. I am trying really hard to not just gobble it up in one sitting but am forcing myself to limit myself to no more than a chapter in one sitting. I am absolutely inspired by his sister-in-law, Josephine Capoose. Talking about someone having aspects of their life swept away: poor Josephine did it tough. But, damn it, she bounced back every time and gave it another go. I will see if I can find her grave, too, and leave some jacaranda flowers for her, too.
My job interview was this morning and I believe that it went well. In all honesty, it’s not what I want to do but it is full-time and permanent so I have to consider it. I think that I will have a D&M with the new Head of School next week… I’m pretty certain there are a lot more projects around the place that would make much better use of my strengths.
Don looks as if he really will go along on a trip up the coast and we’ve moved it one week sooner (depends on when he has his boys over). I sure hope we get to go surfing! I don’t know how long it will take to get up there or if Don would be willing to leave after work on Friday – he’s a postie and I know that he gets tuckered out, especially if the weather is hot like it was today.
Hon, I gots to go – it’s after midnight now and I’ve been a bit tired lately. Hey, I actually ate some dinner tonight and had some chocolate while I was watching the DVDs. That’s good.
OK, my favourite dude – enjoy yourself and, even though you’re in heaven, I say, “Give ‘em hell!”. Just go for it, honey, and have a great time – I know that you, of all people, know how to squeeze the very last drop of enjoyment out of every single day. Good on you, “You go, dude!” ;-) Love ya’ heaps, honey –
- Susan
posted by Susan @ 12:09 am
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