Tuesday, 12 July 2005 [6:00 p.m.]:
Hey there, my Grizz.God, Keith, today was awful. I burst into tears in the car on the way into work but, thank God, I didn’t cry while at work (getting a bit weepy right this moment, though). Five months on and I am still grieving. It’s awful. And how many men have I gone out with lately? You’d think I’d be too distracted to miss you and weep for you. I do know that when you come and are with me, during those times that I can feel your spirit with me and sometimes even feel your physical presence, I know that it makes me feel better. You make me strong and I can handle more. So don’t leave me, honey, I need you. I hate to be selfish and needy but I really do need you. But I keep reminding myself – the second best thing in my whole life happened just last November when I met you and you showed me a whole new way to be. No regrets, KD, no regrets.
I might write later but there isn’t really any need – I know that you can see me right now and I know you know how I feel. I know that you’re not happy about it (about all this excess of grieving) but, at the same time, you know how I feel about everything that did and did not happen. Whether or not you loved me "romantically" or "just as a friend" (as Don says) it doesn’t really matter – at times our lives were conjoined and changed for the better and no one can take that away from us.
Have a whale of a time doing exactly what you want to do with no restrictions and only visit me if that’s what you want. Kia kaha.
- Tiger Woman
posted by Susan @ 6:30 pm
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