Monday, 11 July 2005 [11:15 p.m.]:
Oh, honey!I just went to the Action Animals website and there were pictures of Rowdy and Simba (none of Kisa). And I closed the site and there was your picture taken at the end of January in front of Alison’s house with Kisa and I just burst into tears. Oh, honey, I miss you so! Tomorrow it will be five months since you died. I didn’t think that it would bother me more than usual (I thought that I’d be more upset when the six-month anniversary comes ‘round). But here I am, sobbing again and again getting my cheeks wet, my glasses dirty and tears all down the front of the jumper (sweater) that I am wearing. Keith, Keith, Keith!!! Why did God take you from us?
If only there was a way you could come back. I miss you so very, very much. I’ve been trying really hard to "move on" (and as you can see, sometimes too hard) but it’s not working very well. It’s almost as if these people are a means to an end (letting you go) rather than people in their own right. I know that sounds horrible and it scares me that I might just be going through the motions for all the wrong reasons and not seeing them as individuals. Does that make sense? I’m not saying that it is that way but I think I have to be careful with what I do.
OK, hon, I’m going to get ready for bed. It would be nice to hold you again.
- Susan
posted by Susan @ 11:30 pm
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