1 October 2005 [1:00 a.m.]:
Hey ya’, Keith –Hi, Hon, how ya’ doin’? I can’t believe it, but beautiful September is gone. I think it’s one of the nicest months – both there in North America and here in Australia.
Not much to report – I got my new mobile (cell) ‘phone today – damn! it is sooo small. You, with your fat fingers, wouldn’t be able to use the thing! It’s gonna take me a week to figure out all the features and how to use them – but I’ve already found a place with a decent "Rough Boy" polyphonic ring tone so at least I’ll have that right. ;-)
Was going to order a couple of t-shirts from that place I got those three for you from and was going to order one like the one that Jimmi took but then I changed my mind and decided to leave the $ in the bank. (Jesus, I wish to hell that Jimmi had my email address and gotten in contact.) Same thing happened at a music t-shirt place where I was going to order two ZZ Top t’s but changed my mind. Money is *really* tight and I am worried about how much I will have after I pay for the airfares and Greyhound ticket. In fact, I even was wondering today if maybe I shouldn’t try to go to Quesnel on the 12th of February instead of our "anniversary" date (LOL!) in November – I would have thought that by now I would have heard back from SOMEONE but no dice so far. I’m going around in a permanent state of nervous agitation with all the waiting. I know that some day, some day I will hear from Don again but it is so hard to be patient – it has almost been four months since I heard from him last! I was cool there for awhile but I’ve completely lost the plot again with all the waiting and not knowing and anticipation.
I may be getting a new job – one that’s permanent with sick leave, annual leave (vacation pay) and one day off a fortnight (every two weeks)! That will certainly alleviate a lot of stress – it always, always eats away at me that I could only get an hour’s notice and have no idea of how many hours I am working from week to week. I never, ever let you know how close to the bone Warwick and I lived ‘cuz you had your own problems and didn’t need to worry about me. I think you wouldn’t have been too impressed if you knew how much money I spent sending you stuff and how little money I had to work with. But it was so much fun to please you and make you happy and I loved it when you told me how happy I made you. I’d give you anything and do anything and you know that. I know you saw some negative things when you looked at me but I know you liked what you saw when you looked inside my heart. We met each other too late, you and I.
Well, I’m gonna go – dunno why but it always takes me ages to get ready for bed so tonight’s gonna be a late one. Now that I’ve got Ruffie, I can’t sleep in – when it gets good and light she wants to be let out and have a good old play in the backyard.
‘night, hon – look to that Northern Star and all of us will be together again (seeing Ursa Major again when I finally get to Canada will be so awesome). You knew I’d love you and miss you for a long time, didn’t you? Well, just bask in it and maybe let it make up for some of the times when things were hard and you didn’t get the love you should have. Here, in this heart, you are always cherished.
Stay well –
- Susan
posted by Susan @ 1:35 am
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