Sunday, 18 September 2005 [10:00 p.m.]:
Hey, ya’ my cool dude!Well, wouldn’t you know – just as I started this "All I Know" has just come up on iTunes. Figures.
Honey, I am really missing you lately – it was seven months ago tonight that I got that first email from Don. Damn, was it ever nice of him to write and it wouldn’t have been easy. Boy, I wish I could hear from him: it seems like such a long time ago that he said that he would send the package and email me when he had. I am getting crazy over it again, it is taking sooo long. This whole thing of not being able to make reservations or to know what is going on is taking it’s toll. Why does it all have to be so difficult?
I was in the back yard today playing with Ruffie and I got to thinking about what you and I would have been like together. What a shame for you that you never got to know. You had said about your relationships with women and how none of them had been good for you – well, I would have shown you something completely different to what you would have had before and it would have been great for us both. I wish, those times when you were down, that I could have held you and taken all the pain and the bad memories away. I should have been there for you, Keith, I really should have. And, ya’, I understand completely about Saturday night / Sunday morning but I’m sure you could have had it just the way you wanted it even with me in the picture.
I hope that you can see me now and you can more fully understand my nature. I’m sure that sometimes I must surprise you but I know you well enough to know that you’re not shocked and I know you know that I would have pleased you. We both have missed out on so very, very much.
I am going to try and start my research this week. I’m also considering a letter to Ken this week and anticipating that my letter to your postbox will arrive. I can’t remember if I told you or not, but I am seeing the Head of School at the University on Tuesday afternoon and I am considering resigning. I will have to see what she says but I am sick of how unfair my work conditions are. It will be a bad time to quit – I’ve only saved up enough for my airfares and I still have to pay for your pilot friend’s fee, Greyhound ticket, accommodation, food and assorted spending money and – oh, yeah! – ZZ Top tickets! ;-) Totally awesome! (And I have you to thank for me going absolutely crazy over them!) After the trip I hope I can get my hands on the "Chrome, Smoke and BBQ" boxed set. Oh, there’s a thought – I could have asked you for a couple of your ZZ Top CDs, that would have been cool. What was it that you played for me over the ‘phone? – I was thinking today that it might have been the intro to "World of Swirl".
Missing you and loving you seems to be an essential part of me – there just is nobody else in my life who looms so large as you. You had such a good time livin’ your life, the angels just couldn’t wait to have you with them and God called you away from us. But I don’t blame you for leaving us – it was so hard for you at the end you just had to leave us, didn’t you? No regrets, sweetheart. I will always love you, you know that. For always. And you also know that I would have done anything for you.
Kia kaha, Grizz.
- Susan
posted by Susan @ 10:35 pm
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