Monday night, 14 March 2005 [10:15 p.m.]
Hello, my very best buddy.I have been upset all day today. Not only am I heartsick, I feel nervous and queasy and sick to my stomach. I am wishing that I had never told you that I was sick. I only told you because it was my way of telling you that it was OK that you were sick and that wasn’t going to put me off or make me decide that I didn’t want to get to know you. I’m just afraid that my being sick might have coloured your reaction to me and made you think of me as more fragile than I really am.
Still no parcel, still no email from Don or anyone else. No wonder I feel like sh*t.
I’ve become alarmed lately about the way you organised your last days. I just don’t know, it may just be the product of an over-active mind but I’ve had a glimpse of a possible scenario and I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I can’t say that I blame you – not at all – I knew you and I knew your opinion on a lot of things and with no feedback from Canada I am only left to imagine. All I can say is that, if things weren’t quite random, you should have called to say goodbye. I know I’m an intense tiger and that made you draw back sometimes but I’ve been tested by many a fire and am just that much stronger. Ya, I’m emotional about you and grieving (and that’s only because I love you) but that doesn’t mean that I’m not OK and it doesn’t mean that I couldn’t handle anything you had to say to me.
Keith, you did a great job with your life – you had fun, you had friends, you loved nature, you were right-minded. You lived life to the full with no holding back. You were a role model for all of us. With many, many tears, you are sorely and deeply missed. All my love –
- Susan
posted by Susan @ 8:09 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home