Friday night, 3 February 2006 [11:00 p.m.]:
| Hi, my KD! You were following me around in K-mart tonight, weren’t you? I turned around suddenly and raised my head and there you were, briefly. So did you get an eyeful of all those bras and the sexy little g-strings I got? Some of them are so cute – I can’t wait to wear them! I love, love, love wearing the most outrageously sexy underwear just under jeans or what I wear to work. It is too funny – staid on the outside and red-hot on the inside – LOL! Maybe it’s just me being contrary but I get a laugh out of it most times. Not sure what to do about Don (Sydney). I am completely in two minds about contacting him or not. I keep wondering what advice you’d give me if you heard the whole story. What am I saying?! Of course you knew what happened and what was said because you are always with me and you are "in" on everything. Maybe this whole blog is just silly ‘cause I don’t need to tell you a thing. But I like writing to you, I like the fact that other people can see what it’s like to lose someone they love – their most well-meaning friend – and all the things I’m going through being without you, missing you and grieving for you. I’ll be OK in the end, I know. I want other people to see the journey, to see the changes, to see the love. I am so, so, so lucky to have met you. I am so, so, so lucky to have loved you. I am so, so, so lucky that you cared for me and loved me back. You will never, ever die because you live with me. I was on FAOL bulletin boards again tonight – a really nice bunch of people. They always seem to rise to the occasion whenever anyone is in need. They outfitted a young boy with everything a fly angler could need and now they are getting tying stuff together for a soldier, Tim, in Iraq (on his third tour of duty the poor bugger). Can’t remember how many posts I’ve made since I joined the boards but I try to read it every couple of days – well, I can only manage to get through a page or two, there is that much stuff there. And I try to add a post if I think that I can make a contribution. Did you know a guy named Caneman? He’s apparently back on the site after a long absence. I considered saying ‘Hi’ to him and telling him that I was woefully trying to fill your shoes (as if) but in the end I decided against it. This little piece of kangaroo fur that I got for Leonard feels so nice! I looked and looked for skins for him and the prices and then bought him this piece (a keychain) so he’d know if he could use a skin before I bought and he wound up getting one in the US somewhere. Now I have to think of something clever to do with this piece. No, I am not ready to start tying flies yet! It’s starting to get dark earlier (which I hate). Tonight on my way home from shopping at around 8:30 p.m., the fruit bats were flying right down Mona Street, just a block from here. Looked quite strange. Well, I guess it’s better for all you Canucks as your days will be getting longer as ours recede. Going to go – takes me awhile to get the whole place ready for bed. I guess I am just slow (takes me a long time to get ready for work, too). I’d probably drive you nuts when you wanted to go out fishing or camping while I took ages to get ready. Ooh, that reminds me – Rufflie just flipped out on me last night. I usually tell her "Time for bed" and she runs right to the verandah to have her treat (a chicken hotdog), goes right in and doesn’t make a peep all night. Last night she ran right in got up on her brand new bed (she had one before but it was falling apart so I got her a new one – one of those sort of sling ones) then dropped the hotdog and ran to the back door. She cowered there and did her nervous pee-ing thing and I had to put a leash on her and drag her back to bed! She was pathetic. She is just way too submissive sometimes and I wonder why. I just have to wonder if she wasn’t abused when she was a small puppy. She would have had to have been pretty small as we got her when she was about ten weeks old, I think. I hope we don’t have a repeat performance again tonight. Honey, I have to go. Stay with me if you can, I really need you. Wait! That is completely unfair as there are people, like Jessi, that need you more than I do and you really should go to her, especially now. But think of me from time to time and I will know it when you do. Love, laughs, joy, friendship – all our gifts to each other. Thank you so very, very much. - Always your Susan |
posted by Susan @ 11:48 pm
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