Christmas Eve, Saturday, 24 December 2005 [9:30 p.m.]:
| Hi, my big Canuck, how are you? Here it is, Christmas Eve already. All day I’ve felt as if it was last year’s Christmas Eve all over again, the feelings back then were so strong. We were in the house at Granville and that evening I was making those date cookies (my Mum’s recipe) to take the next morning to my neighbours. I hadn’t heard from you for a couple of days and was a little concerned. Then you send that MSN message that you were heading down to Vancouver and that you didn’t feel like talking to "people". I was out in the kitchen working and missed it and I was so disappointed that I had missed you. I was also a little P.O.-ed that you had called me "people" – like I was just another nameless somebody. I was your guardian angel all that night, watching over you as you made your way from 108 to Van. I kept checking in to the weather and highway conditions (and they were awful that night) and willed my watchful protection to go with you. What I didn’t know for a while was that you had gotten sicker and had gone down to the hospital. It was the beginning of the end and I had no idea, no idea at all. And I hadn’t fallen in love with you yet but, even so, I watched over you like a tigress. I don’t how much strength you got from me at that point but I know you would have felt my presence, just like I felt yours on the 17th of December. It wasn’t until mid January that I fell in love with you – too bad it hadn’t happened sooner while we could have spent some time together. And what a shame about Seoul. But we suited each other in a special way and each had to offer what the other needed. I will love you and thank you and miss you all my life, Keith – there is not a day without gratitude and love. Venus is huge in the early evening sky every night. Our days are beginning to shrink and the Canadian ones to grow. Soon I’ll be on my way to the Skeena, sitting on the plane filled with excitement laced with a swirl of concern. You have given me so much strength and, in spite of every setback and apparent dilemma, I will persevere and find myself standing in her cold water and feeling you, like Clayton’s blanket, enveloping me and comforting me. You continue to give me great joy and satisfaction and even when I weep, I am grateful for it all. I hope all is well with Jessi and Alison and the rest of your family. Don, that lovely bloke, is back at work and I hope faring well, too. Bruno and Jimmi must miss you, too – I hope that they have managed to keep from getting sick. Then there’s your friends: Ken and Paul and the pilot and Marty from Action A (didn’t want to write "AA" – LOL!) and everybody else whose names I don’t know. And a lot of guys at FAOL miss you, too – some didn’t know what had happened to you and some swore up and down that they had talked to you recently (who knows, maybe you have!). Got to go, honey, it’s almost 10 p.m. and I haven’t really eaten today so I should go have something. Merry Christmas, sweetheart, and thank you for the many, many gifts that you have given me. There is only one last gift that I need; if you can, would you please help with that? Love for you always – - Susan (your other tiger) |
posted by Susan @ 9:56 pm
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